For so many years my mom has lived with this guy who is an absolute failure as a husband and a dad.
For so many years my mom has made us absolutely aware of the fact that my dad is a failure.
What if my dad is gone? He doesn’t do anything good alive anyway.
Wait a minute because it would be a totally different story.
If he is gone, our tragedy is permanent.
We have no one to blame, what we have is endless misery even though we wouldn’t have to endure his stupid life style.
It is a complete family after all.
Nothing would be the same if one person is gone.
Everything would be different.
Mom has done her best.
The rest of the story lies on me and my younger brother.
有一段时间，感觉老大不再是以前的老大了
变得普通，变得赶潮流，变得像别人一样拼命证明自己
虽然以前也有话不投机的时候，但总还有下次再聊的期待
现在呢，自说自话
难道真被说中了
一切都在变的
事物都有一个期限，永远不要期待永远
不知道现在的老大有没有比以前开心呢
有了女朋友应该是开心的
那我也要做一个懂事的小弟才行
开始有些害怕自己做的梦
去趟孝感吧
突然间找不到要用的东西人会很烦躁的吧
梓涵是怎么了，性格变得这么差
到处拿我的东西，害得我的哑铃到现在都下落不明
虽然我的东西并没有整理得很整齐，但是我一般都能够很快地找到我要的东西
最讨厌别人动我的东西了
我知道家人整天给她臭脸色看，她很没有安全感
我也很想关心她照顾她
可是，几天下来我发现自己真心做不到
一个顽皮的脏小孩
原来自己长大的环境就是这样的
希望我的哑铃可以被找回来。可惜你是哑的，不能call你
i have been working from 8 a.m. till now
went to the market, and prepared for the meal
i think it’s nice.
i broke a plate, and i cooked four dishes.
one is good, one is ok, one is eatable and the last one is too salty.
没有看书
没有锻炼
只是躺在床上看电视，偶尔画画
但是，日子过得挺舒服哦
还能说些什么呢
没有必要说任何了
前几天照顾几个小孩子，胳膊都抱酸了
不能更可爱
外婆都八十多了，喜欢跟我说话，但我却找不到字句回应
伪装太多
如果不细心往里看，便会错失很多
can’t spend any time alone no longer
this feeling sucks
the realization of my stupidity is killing me
i’m trying to look at the silver lining here:
i am realizing my stupidity, becoming aware of it
it’s not too late, though
and
of what kind of men should i be with?
i always like those who eventually hurt
but i don’t like that any more
i want to be smart
i want to grow so powerful that men are just scared of my strength
yes, i do want to be that kind of women
those who know about what they have and about what they want
working on it
it takes time
and i’ll die trying
gonna be home tomorrow
afraid i can’t write this much here
no web back at home
but i really want to keep record of my thoughts, online
so wait and see
fuck you, thieves.
hope you die in hell.
刘kitty不要退货哦，么么哒
昨晚熄灯之后，逛了半个小时天涯，竟然就睡着了。凌晨四点半醒了，于是再也不敢闭上眼。
一闭眼脑子里面就是小偷如何在我身边把我的相机偷走，以及我当时是如何一幅浑然不知还如此沉迷八卦救人于水火的表情。
两篇论文分分钟搞定，给我再多的时候质量也是上不去的，就那样吧。
回家回家。
昨晚闷不过出去跑步，跑了半个小时跟老弟发短信说相机被偷，已经报警，求不要再说。结果他立马就回了，吓我半死：嗯嗯，不要多想，好好休息。
真的是立马泪崩。
原来自己真的是那么的瞎，要的全是自己得不到的，伤害的却是真正爱我的人。
相机失事之后，拖延症貌似好了。
也不想说此事自己以后从此怎样怎样，但我真的会一点点慢慢来。
一方面觉得自己十足SB，另一方面觉得真心对不住父母。
回家回家。
